AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/22/2003 09:25:00 PM
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BODY: Black Humor

I

’ve told you before that both Ma’ariv and Yediot Ahronot have sarcastic weekend satiric sections. Courtusy of my workplace scanner I’ll try to bring a few jokes here and there. Two of these three are from this week’s Ma’ariv, I got the third one by e-mail. Hope this kind of black humor speaks to you and that I don't kill the joke during my translation.

An Israeli meets his Palestinian friend, and asks him why does he look so depressed. “Soon we will have a our own state”, the Palestinian replies, “and we will have reserve service and income tax and social security to pay and VAT and a Broadcasting Authority toll”. “What do you want”, says the Israeli, “We are suffering all of this for 55 years now”. “Yes” the Palestinian answers, “but in your case you can already see the end”.









A weekend of demonstrations in Europe: Six million people went out to the streets to support Iraq.

Experts: If all the demonstrators would have hold hands and stand in line, they would have reached from Eiffel Tower in Paris to Auschwitz in Poland.















“I don’t understand, why is everybody stressed out because of the war? I don’t think anything will happen. The one with the mustache won’t do anything and certainly not with the gas that everyone says he has, and if he’ll only try the Americans and the British will take care of him. And anyway, even if it’s not so good here and we’re in a bit of a recession, still there is no better place for Jews than this Country.”

Tzippora Schwartz, Berlin, 1933


















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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/21/2003 09:12:00 PM
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BODY: Fun game

I

DF’s Intelligence corps has a got a new website. There is nothing too interesting over there. The main purpose of the site is to draw bright high school students to the corps. Another purpose is to encourage the study of Arabic among Israeli high school students.

Anyway the site has a fun memory game in which you need to match faces of Arab leaders with their names, either in Hebrew or in Arabic. Even if your Hebrew skills are not so good you should be able to read the names. I was surprised to find out that I read the names in Arabic quite easily. Not that I ever knew much Arabic from the 4 years I learnt it in school, today all I can do is to identify the letters read slowly without knowing how to pronounce it or understanding what I read. The problem in Arabic (exactly like in Hebrew) that there are no vowels but punctuation marks. So except for things for kids the punctuation marks are not shown. You have to know the word before you read it. Quite frustrating.



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/21/2003 08:30:00 PM
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BODY: Hurry, buy a house in Baghdad today!

C

hannel 2 expert on the Arab world Ehud Ya’ari is saying that house prices in Baghdad are rising sharply these days. The reasons stem from expectations for the day after the American attack. The Iraqi Dinar is expected to rise and so will be the demand for houses in Saddam free Baghdad.



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/20/2003 09:54:00 PM
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BODY: Uni stuff

S

orry for the light posting, hopefully it will pick up during the weekend. I had to finish this paper from hell in econometrics. And if my talking about uni – Large part of the visitors to the blog are coming from American universities. If any of you fellow students are studying economics I wonder if anyone of you had an Israeli doctor or professor. It looks like almost all of the senior stuff of Tel Aviv University school of economics are teaching in American Universities as well. It seems that University of Chicago is exceptional popular for the TAU teachers. So if you had the pleasure to attend a course of an Israeli professor please tell me.

It’s nice to know that my teachers are talented enough to teach in universities around the world. The annoying thing is that some of them use their American course learning materials and don’t bother to translate them into Hebrew. It’s important to know the different terms in English but using presentations in English just makes the material harder to understand.

When the Hebrew University in Jerusalem was founded (early 20th century if I recall right) they insisted to teach only in Hebrew. How things have changed.



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/18/2003 07:35:00 PM
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BODY: High demand for jokes on France



S

ince I’ve posted The Sun’s French jokes I had a few dozens of entries from people who looked for French jokes, anti French jokes and so on with Google. So here is another one that Jenber left in the comments.



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/18/2003 12:36:00 AM
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BODY: As a promo to the upcoming war



O

ne of the most amazing photos from 1991 Golf War: Michael Diyar beneath remains of his home after it was hit by an Iraqi Scud missile. (photo: National Photo Collection)



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/18/2003 12:27:00 AM
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BODY: No need to store food IMO

P

eople are stocking large amounts of food and water in their sealed rooms or shelters in case there will be a chemical or biological attack. I don’t think there is any need to do so.

A family inside a sealed room can stay there only for about 3 hours, otherwise they can die from CO2 poisoning. Meaning that the door must be opened to let fresh air inside. So in any case when they’ll open the door they will be in contact with the chemical gas. Either they’ll be evacuated to a hospital or if they were not harm by the gas but they know it hit a near by area, they will head far away from their home.

In any case Iraq can’t inflict such hits that will paralyze all of Israel, meaning that the food and water supply will go on.



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/17/2003 11:47:00 PM
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BODY: Webcam

I

’ve got a new webcam. I’m not sure what to do with it, nor did I succeed to videoconference with anyone yet. I thought that incase war in Iraq begins already it will be interesting for the blogs visitors if I put the webcam on the window so it could stream live video of my street. That way you’ll be able to know if I’ve suffered a direct hit (god forbid) or not. (I'm Just kidding here don't worry yourself). Two problems though:

1.The computer isn’t close enough to the window for the webcam to look outside. (Guess I can fix that if an dwhen)
2.I’ve no idea how to technically stream live video on my blog.

Suggestions are more than welcomed.



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AUTHOR:G.
DATE:2/17/2003 11:26:00 PM
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BODY: Just for the record

T

he 1991 Alarm audio post got me a few links here and there and a first link in Metafilter, which boosted my hits quite nicely.

I thought about it later that some people might think I’m opposing a war in Iraq because I wrote: “Hope we won’t have to hear that again” as in if I hope there will be no war. Just for the record I fully support America’s intention to once and for all get rid of this menace called Saddam Hussein. I’ve added a Support Democracy in Iraq banner as I truly believe that first democratic Arab state could lead (with time) the way for changes in the entire Arab world. You can add the banner to your site, details over at Dean Esmay.



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